I had drafted a blog post sometime ago, in it I mentioned that I had read somewhere that each person should strive to do better / be better than their parents. And at the time I had felt that I was not in a better place than my parents were at my age.
By 30 they were married, had had me, their first child and were well established in their respective fields. I’m not sure that they struggled to make ends meet each month, or whether there were times when they had to borrow money from their parents just to make it to the next payday,both of which I have periodically had to do.
It might have just been a case of birthday blues, but I really didn’t feel like I’ve accomplished much in the 3 decades I’ve been in existence. I felt really low.
On my birthday I started to think about it really. So what I’m not married or even in any relationship, I have other the years learnt and grown from relationships in the past. So what I’m not thriving in my career, I have come to grips with the fact that I’m not where I should be, and though I don’t know exactly how I’m going to switch careers, I’m so determined not to stay where I’m at.
Success is subjective. It might mean big houses, a car for every day of the week, lots of money in the bank for some. But I think I need to focus on my personal definition of success, and not compare myself with others. Things were very different back when my parents were 30, it’s not fair on myself to compare with their accomplishments.
So success to me is getting to that point where I’m okay with who I am. I’ve always had a hard time loving myself for who I am. I always want to be different, and while growth and change is great, it’s an awful feeling not liking who you are at the moment. Success means not having to worry about making it to the next pay day, having freedom from financial stresses. It means waking up each morning excited by what the day holds in store, not dreading the 9-5 hours. Success means doing something I’m passionate about, something that adds value to my life as well as to others’. Success means being honest with friends and family I am close to, it means being comfortable with who I am and knowing that persons I hold dear love me regardless of whether I am who they would like me to be.
I think it’s important to establish what success means, before getting caught up in society’s definition and realising all too late that you’re not happy with your “success”.